One thing that I find funny and others find disturbing is that Crusty talks in the third person a lot in this blog. I also find that most english degree holders and majors cringe at my switch in narratives between first second and third person. Which is my purpose and I find funny because anyone who talks in the third person is a mixture of funny and crazy.
Here are three triage quick patient encounters that stuck in my head:
1) I'm in triage getting vitals on a patient when another person busts into the area we are in. The patient I'm getting vitals on and this other person don't know each other so both of us look at this person like they're crazy and then I say "Hello there, how may I help you?" thinking that there very well could be a penetrating trauma in a car at the turn out or another preggers woman delivering a baby there as well, possibly both at the same time *shudders* I never want that to happen. Anywho...
The busting in person says with shirt pulled over their face "I NEED A MASK I DON'T WANT EBAUMMA!!!"
At this point I face palm and hand over a mask just to placate the person while the triage nurse snorts on the other side of the curtain. The pt I am getting vitals from says "Some peoples is so ignorant." I could not help but to agree.
2) Oddly enough during black history month I was helping a EMS crew pull a patient out of their ambulance who was having a bit of a mental break down. While this patient is being triaged he screams "I'm just like Martian Luther King" over and over again. This is obviously getting on several peoples nerves. I get his attention and tell this very delusional patient "Sir, I beg to differ you are nothing like MLK...you're not black." which got whoops of laughter and a smattering of applause from patients and co-workers. At this point the patients starts screaming "I'M JUST LIKE GANDHI...I'M JUST LIKE GANDHI...I'M JUST LIKE GANDHI..."
3) Last and certainly not least I'm talking with a patient who is in obvious pain and rubbing their elbow I ask what happened and the reply I get is "I fell on my bone marrow."
Yup just a few moments in the dynamic environment of the inner city urban ER.
