Twenty Three

Twice in one career is enough.

I mentioned back in entry twenty one what I thought was a once in a lifetime/career occurrence. Female pt openly urinating in the middle of the hall in front of anyone who cared to see or not see. I honestly thought I would never see this type of thing ever again.

As in many things in my life I was wrong about that too. Lightening can strike in the same place twice.

Female mental health pt waiting for transport to the psych unit needs to urinate. I happily escort her to bathroom. Unfortunately in urban ER this bathroom is out of order. So we walk to the next bathroom about 20 feet away. This being an urban ER it too is out of order. So I say "Hey, there is another bathroom around the corner about 30 feet away, I think we can make it." By now this pt has gotten irritated over this inconvenience and screams "I AIN'T GONNA WALK NO WHERE ELSE I AM GONNA PISS RIGHT HERE!"

And she did.

This got a "Awww.... you gotta be kidding me." from the the ol' CERT (Crusty ER Tech) and then the comment "So do you need toilet paper to wipe with, you know you should wash your hands." 

Folks were mortified. Instead of face palming I chose to bridge pinch.

I just walked her ass back on the stretcher and made the appropriate note with the above details in her chart. At least after she pissed in the middle of the hallway in front of everyone she was in a better mood.

So goes another shift for the Crusty ER Tech.

Twenty two

The ol' double duce!

I'm trying to wrap up my online refresher right now I just can't seem to get the dates coordinated though. Here is a blast from a past refresher course for you nurses out there wondering what they teach us EMS types turned ER techs:

And that was my first day of orientation years ago.

Twenty One

New years eve...

Yeah yeah I realize I'm a little behind on the holidays. Here are my top five reasons I will try with all my power to never work another night shift NYE again. These have been accumulated over the years.

5) Party girl with a standing drunk fall from some tall heels, who decides that she cannot wait to go to the bath room and hikes up her skirt and urinates in the hallway 10 feet from the bathroom. No fractures from xr.

4) One year we ran out of geodon and haldol.

3) Co-workers who disappear at midnight to run out to the chopper pad to watch fire works despite trauma activations coming in through the ambulance bay.

2) It's one of the 3 acknowledged "rookie nights" of the year. The others being the Super bowl and St. Patty's day.

1) At the end of shift every patient on the board has ETOH level of at least 0.15.


I have been fortunate that my schedule has allowed me to miss NYE of the last few years. you can only be so lucky with the schedule for so long.