Forty Three

As we get on into the colder months the shelters fill up and we start to have our urban outdoors people begin to appear with more frequency, often in the damnedest places. Yes, yes we do get our fair share that come in complaining of chest pain or homicidal or suicidal thoughts. Which comes a small rub with me and some of my fellow tech and often nurses. I know it gets damn cold on the streets and shit the shelters are only moderately better (they're warmer).

My thought is that if you're in a bad way and homeless and come up to us and say that you're just homeless and need a place to crash til the bad weather passes then hey we are in the caring business, we'll find you a place to crash for the coldest part of the day or night. Just don't expect us to cater to your every need, be quiet in the corner and that will be that. It's happened once or twice and it happens once or twice per winter season. Just don't make a habit of it and by all means get to those shelters early.

One thing is that many don't know or really care that when they come in with the right verbiage that they will get the million dollar work up. Then since they are indigent and cannot pay the taxpayers of the city, county and state flip the bill or the hospital eats it which cuts into our operating budget which keeps us from upgrading from the monitors that are over 20 years old in some cases. It gets frustrating sometimes and sometimes it gets plain funny.

Awhile back I was in the habit of running stairs after shift not on one of those stair masters in one of the many stair wells of the high rise hospital I work at. I'm about on say 10th floor (which is about halfway to the top) and there is a "half" floor there which is only accessible to the facilities guys it's a crawl space where they can get to pipes and wires and such. this half floor con only be reached by stairs. The crawl space is locked with several locks and alarmed. The small 4-6 stair landing is super warm though.

That's where at around 0800 one morning I stepped on a homeless guy. I was in a half daze after working a long shift and wheezing my lungs out from doing stairs. He was surprised that I stepped on his outstretched arm and let out a yelp. I was surprised and let out a very undignified girly scream. At which time I ran up to the next floor and called our (seriously) crack security staff and they handled the situation. Story went that dude got discharged walked out the doors then walked in another set of doors and wandered around til he found a stairwell. He went up until he found a spot where noone really was and crashed.

Then there was the running gag for a run of shifts where a code would get called once a day by someone who could not wake up a homeless woman who was sleeping in the hospital. In a large urban hospital such as BCH if you are savvy enough you can hang out in our many waiting rooms for various clinics, watch TV, be warm and sometimes even get fed all without seeing a doctor. This particular woman just did not do that. She'd just fall asleep anywhere. In a hallway next to the freight elevators in a corner of the gift shop etc. Our hospital is divided up for codes the ER covers certain floors including the ground floor which is where this woman decided to fall asleep for this run of shifts. It's a total pain in the ass to go running with a monitor and drug box to a woman who is just being stubborn and playing asleep hoping to get left alone so she can return to her nap. It reminded me of the same phenomenon on the ambulance a commuter sees a homeless person sleeping on the side of the road and calls 911 which brings a crew out to wake up said homeless person. People mean well it's just that after awhile you wanna just well...scream. This woman got referred to social services and sent on her way. Never saw her again.

So begin the late fall and early winter months.

Forty Two

We've been getting a lot of EMT students through BCH as of late. For the most part they have been wall flowers with a sprinkling of capable ones and the occasional "I'm getting ready for med school and thought this would help me prepare" types. No one listens when I tell them that being an assistant manager or manager at a subway would pay more and that you'd only receive only about half of the abuse.

Alas my pleas for career change fall onto deaf ears of the phalanx of EMT students we see now. The wall flowers make me wonder how they get trained then I saw this video and I think I get it.

Not saying that my particular training was magnificent. My instructor got fired at the 11th hour because he made a racy banana joke to the wrong student. Fear not as long as I am the Crusty ER tech BBCOD will live on. That was a damn long time ago in a land far far away from where I am now.

If you're reading this and you're just starting out take the classes seriously. Also keep in mind to have some damn fun. The job is tough enough even with the humor.

In case you CNA or nursing types are in here looking I'll answer your question with a YES this is how EXACTLY how EMTs and Paramedics are trained. And if you believe that then I got a certain bridge or some beach front property in a land locked state that I can sell you.

Seriously consider working at subway. I hear that employees only pay 10% of the actual cost of a sandwich.