Number Six

The Haunting of the Ghost Tech.

This is quite the read so use the bathroom and grab the beverage of your choice while you're up. The story will be here for awhile.

The Ghost Tech as many of the veteran nurses know are often the source of frustration on their part because they cannot find that tech to give them a hand. If the nurses are frustrated with ghost tech then well his/her fellow techs are just below openly knee capping ghost tech in front of the entire medical staff because the ghost techs “vanishings” aka hiding causes more work for the techs who stay at home.  The nurses and docs can find the stay at home tech and like the reliability of the stay at home tech. So the tech that sticks around tends to get more work thrown on them because Ghost tech never manifests themselves long enough to do trivial much needed tasks like helping out with a code, helping a patient to the bath room or *gasp* getting discharge vitals.

The ghost tech I am talking about are actually two separate people from two separate hospitals but both had very similar personalities, one could call it spooky how similar they were.  Both as I observed got their come uppance eventually. Both wanted to go on and be docs, seriously.  I have no idea if either did though.

Ghost tech 1 aka GT1 I had the displeasure of knowing first knew first. He actually had the nerve to use me as a reference to come up from the central sterilization, yeah I knew him in passing but I NEVER said he could use me as a reference to move up from there, trust me he knew right off that was a wrong move on his part.  Meh, not that it mattered. Somewhere along the way GT1 got his EMT but never worked the ambulance, so he had no skills at all. We had to teach him everything.  This tried all the techs patience but also drove the nurses and docs nuts. Since GT1 wanted to be a doc, he was up the docs asses ALL the time some docs loved that shit like Dr. Cause the majority after awhile grew tired of it. In one case Dr. Mke at this particular hospital told him “GT1 remove yourself from our office and please get out of my ass!” GT1 wanted to be an ER doc or Cardiologist he just was not sure. GT1 was taking a break from school but was a former ECHL hockey player which at first was neat then we quickly saw why he was cut. No work ethic.

Ghost tech 2 aka GT2 was a similar case no ambulance experience. By the time I made it to that suburban level whatever ER he was trained up and had an “entire year” of experience in that ER. He was actively going to school at a second tier college and playing football for them as a walk on. Another words he was a walking tackling dummy for the practice squad. He also bragged that he tried out for the local arena FB team.  GT2 clearly knew what kind of practice he wanted as a doc and he had the build for it, orthopedics.  GT2 would mysteriously materialize whenever there was an orthopod in the department and a reduction to be done. I had it down to a science with him. The orthopod would show up, while you were gathering supplies for a cast or splint or even a simple sling, GT2 would slither into the room without you knowing. Then he would say “I got this” and with no mercy or pride crawl up said orthopods ass, it was embarrassing. I gave him enough rope to hang himself and eventually a very tired orthopod got sick of his shenanigans and ignorance then threw him out of the room along with his shitty three way splint.  But need him to take up a patient for you or help out with a rough code brown, he’d “ghost” on ya. GT2 also had a side kick aka lap dog known as Shadow tech who will get discussed at a later time, needless to say where ever GT2 was shadow tech was never far behind. They never worked the same assignments but somehow always ended up together, you could say they had a bromance that bordered on dating. It was felt by several people that they were dating, not that there is anything wrong with that. Both vehemently denied any romantic inclinations on their part.

At both hospitals the staff was well aware of these respective Ghost techs ummm ‘quirks’. Hardly a word was said by nursing staff or techs at either hospital to management. Because of a few reasons one of their let’s say “attributes” as athletic somewhat attractive males they got away with it for a period of time, female nurses like eye candy too! Another was in GT2’s case the department was so dysfunctional no one was really in charge for well over 18 months. In GT1’s case it was felt that the charge nurses would get him eventually. Both got what they deserved in the end.

GT1’s down fall began when he decided to replace nurse GK’s liter bottle of ice water with iced saline solution. Nurse GK is a fantastic guy and a hullva nurse, a total professional. By quietly doing his job Nurse GK garnered respect from the entire staff of the ED. Nurse GK did not say much but when he did folks listened.  Nurse GK had a busy night and was juggling two pretty sick patients. He hardly had time to breathe much less drink water. When he did it was ALL normal saline and he spit it out. Nurse GK did not appreciate this and when GT1 was laughing in his face, nurse GK got that twitchy eye look. Nurse GK began to pull strings but that was the long fuse.  Nurse GK at the time was a relief charge nurse on occasion.

Another long fuse was fitness model/paramedic/fire fighter/goddess nurse. FMPFFG nurse is the and now pardon the pun ‘model’ of the nurse any hospital wants. I’ll get into detail about her another time. She has a work ethic that would make you stand up and cheer, smarts that rivaled many of our docs and looks that would make many a fire fighter and male patient swoon. She carried it off well too. FMPFFG nurse worked with GT1 many times and TRIED with him. Finally she had enough and asked him openly one day “You came from money right?” To which GT1 replied “Yes!” obviously thinking he was getting in good with this angel sent from heaven. “Well..” FMPFFG nurse said giving him the finger “…that explains your work ethic.”  From then on there was no bigger fan (and still am) of FMPFFG nurse than the old crusty ER tech. FMPFFG nurse was a relief charge for a while then got her stripes as a charge nurse. She is one of the few nurses I call “super charge/charged” she was/is that damn good.

The short fuse was Dr. Mke.  Dr. Mke had no love lost for GT1, and when presented with a chance to hammer him into the ground he did so in a convincing manner then stepped on him hard to be sure. GT1 decided to start an IV on a sick transport tech one day. Now I will say I have started IV’s on co-workers before for hangovers and the flu. Just normal saline in nothing bigger than a 20G with a normal drip set. GT1 went WAY beyond that. He grabbed D5 half normal saline a 16G IV needle and a ‘Y’ IV set with a blood pump then put this transport tech in a room that was not being used and loaded her up. He infused that D5 ½ NS in under 10 minutes. The outcome sent this willowy transport tech to the step down ICU for a few days because she got chest pain and a PE from the episode. EVERYONE heard about this and unfortunately for GT1 Dr. Mke was there that day.

Dr. Mke from went ballistic and rightly so. GT1 was shit canned right then and there. Word was that Dr. Mke was also going after GT1’s EMT cert for this gross negligence and stepping WAY over protocols and his scope of practice. I would not be surprised if Dr. Mke did because he’s a real pit bull. I think if Dr. Mke coulda done so he would have physically thrown GT1 out of the ER himself. Dr. Mke was a former orderly in the old…old days. Ya know when Johnny and Roy were running calls.

GT2’s demise was much less dramatic. At suburban level whatever hospital he got away with long lunches being, hours late to work leaving the hospital’s campus etc. But remember this was during the reign of Gerald everything was fucked up. Up was down, black was white, frogs rained from the ceiling there from time to time.  When we got an actual ER manager and her minion Nurse Blabber mouth, GT2 was not safe for long. Actual ER manager tightened things up and got rid of dead weight another words she cut costs. One of the dead weights was GT2. He got warned when she looked at the clocking system records of the past several months and was told all is forgiven but we’re watching you.

If you guessed he got shit canned because of tardiness then you guessed correctly.

One day he was there and got called into the nursing office. The next thing we know the charge nurse is dividing up the techs assignments because we are “minus one” that night and GT2’s name is off the schedule.  Shadow tech was lost after that.

As you can see in these cases these Ghost techs made their beds and were forced to lie in them. These are just two extreme examples of Ghost techs I use them because they were SO similar in many ways.  I have experienced other degrees of Ghost ER tech. They disappear and manifest at the charge nurses elbow for lunches and breaks then fade into a fine mist until end of shift to clock out or when food appears. It’s maddening and frustrating and makes the entire team work harder. I say tolerate these shit heads but watch them though. As you have seen here they get theirs eventually.

So ends the Haunting of the Ghost Tech.

Number Five

Some days it’s worth going into the job.

The pay check is small, the hours are often terrible and long, often it’s a thankless hard job. No shit, huh? Since I started school, changed shifts and went to a PRN schedule things have changed. Many of the familiar faces and friends I have at work have left and moved on. The other day we were going through “skills check off” out of the many people there I only knew 3 people out of over 40 staff there that day. We’ve turned over that much in recent months.  Morale in the department is in the shitter.

I’m not going to discuss that though that will be on some other entry. I’m talking about a small reward. It was from an x-ray tech. She’s been at this large trauma center hospital for a very long time, much longer than me. We work opposite shifts now I pulled nights for a long time most of my career in fact, now I’m on days. She sees me walking past one of our fancy trauma rooms and she’s doing some sort of post-reduction films on a patient. She immediately drops her pickle switch and comes charging out of the room, gives me a HUGE hug. Saying “Thank you Jesus, thank you lord, there are still good people left here!”  She held me so tight and so long that I thought I was going to be late clocking in. I was terribly embarrassed by this spectacle. Really though I was tremendously happy with it for the first time in recent memory I felt appreciated and respected.  It made a long day better.

For that I am thankful. Some days it’s worth going to the job.

Number Four

This was said to me by the patient last shift after I saw he was out of jail after punching a nurse in the face several weeks ago. This patient is bi-polar schizophrenic with over 20+ aggravated assault charges. He has assaulted staff many many times and destroyed hospital property. I know he as assaulted me a couple of times at least. He has yet to "win" with me and hates me for it. Anyways, this is what he said because he and I know each other so well.

"Best pinch yourself bitch, I'm back you bitch mother fucker ain't no jail or judge gonna hold me, step to me bitch and I'll knock your ass out."

This got a curtain close a sigh and face palm.

This was at the beginning of shift this patient we'll call him Mr. Jones was just there for a refill of his psych meds. I've been there long enough to know Mr. Jones very well and what he is capable of doing to staff and property. He has been up for discharge for nearly 2 hours but the night nurse thought it would be a good idea to keep him around because having a violent dangerous patient in an open psych area is a "great" idea *note sarcasm* He is discharged and escorted out by security within 10 minutes of changing shift. Frankly, I'd rather not deal with Mr. Jones either but knowing his track record I'd rather have him gone one less thing to worry over.

I hope that I don't see Mr. Jones again this shift. But, I know I will.

Number three

The Fall of Gerald.

Today’s story we’ll go back a few years to the time when I worked out west in a state and area that is known for being west of the Mississippi river, yeah that’s general enough. As promised I will not just tell the tales of female nurse’s gone crazy but also promise to tell the woes and sorrow brought to my feet by my fellow techs and other health care types. Today is the tale of Gerald the male charge nurse.

I had the displeasure of working for Gerald for over two years at this suburban level whatever hospital. Gerald I will say is a good technical nurse. He was efficient and smart enough to be effective at the bedside with patients. As a charge nurse he could move patients and was good at that as well. Gerald was also loyal to his shift and to his people so much so that eventually he developed a clique. It was the night shift clique and if you worked a mid-shift or a day shift then you are damned and felt his prejudice and disdain regularly that is unless Gerald liked you or were a smoker whom he hung out with. I worked a combo of mid and day shifts due to school and other commitments and am a non-smoker so naturally I fell into Gerald’s circle of disdain. Gerald was snide and cutting with no need to be, often over trivial things. He could be a real hero with the staff at times because he would prod our at times very SLOW docs into seeing and moving patients. Full disclosure here this best describes Gerald:

Gerald and a majority of the night shift are smokers as well. Now let me interject here and say I could give a rat’s ass if you smoke. I could care less but when your nasty vile habit causes the rest of the non-smoking staff more work then I have a problem. If you have worked in a hospital for any amount of time you learn quickly one of the smokers gathering spots is the ambulance bay, which is fine for the ER smokers they go out get their quick fix of bronchitis, emphysema, COPD and CHF and they’re back fast. The rest of the hospital smokers would filter through the ER as well to get their self inflicted dose of future health problems, pun intended.  Then some hospital exec types thought it would be great PR and make their health insurance rates go down by banning smoking from the hospital campus. Then a series of more serious problems began.

The nasty habit of smoking is a social gathering and one smoker cannot go smoking unless they have another to partake in this disgusting habit. The smokers from the rest of the hospital would come down to the ER and grab our smokers to go out and puff it up. Gerald and his clique of night shift smokers would often disappear for 30-45 minutes at a time or more to go smoke across the street off campus; a few if not several times a night. This often left us short staffed and at times working over because well they tended to go smoke at the end of the mids shift. Often you’d be stuck there in the ER until past midnight if you were an 1100 person. Well past 0200 if you were a 1400 person and not get to leave until close to 0500 if you were a 1500 person.  Naturally this caused the bosses to get upset with the people often forced to stay over because they were getting paid extra for staying over for no good reason.  If patient loads were light and you could get a actual sit down lunch break and tell Gerald that you wanted to catch your lunch he’d pull the trick “OK but me and the night shift techs are gonna smoke first is that ok?” What can you say? Inevitably they’d take their sweet ass time come back and naturally something would come up and you get no sit down lunch break. In Gerald’s words when a non smoking midshift nurse pointed this out he stated “Suffer bitch, you aren’t on night shift.” Which made his night shift types LOVE him but quickly made the midshifters HATE him. 

This mass exodus of smokers often left one or two techs and one or two nurses to cover a 40+ bed ER. We would make decisions in his absence and he would get all pissed off and vengeful when this happened but what ya gonna do when the ambulances are streaming in with ya know sick patients and when you had walk ups in triage with strokes and MI’s. Now I see you there over to the side there waving your hand furiously and you are going to say “well why did’nt you tell the ER manager?” That’s a GREAT idea and I applaud your plan. Problem is that we had NO ER manager. The acting one was scared of Gerald as well because Gerald and most of the night shift nurses were travelers and on the same page.  Gerald would routinely blackmail the hospital into letting him and his select clique into extending contracts and if they were upset they would threaten to terminate their contract. Gerald was an experienced traveling nurse and got him and his clique from the way it sounded iron clad contracts that left them a clause letting them quit at a moment’s notice with no penalty. Besides you complain and Gerald found out you’d find yourself in the worst assignments with the worst patients with no back up. There was no recourse except to quit but this suburban hospital paid well and had great shift differentials for night hours and weekends. As a tech every nickel counts.

I shake my head and laugh at this because it’s so absolutely absurd. Night shift traveling nurses holding a hospital over a barrel just because they were familiar with how the hospital works and in particular that ER. I shit you not there were travelers there who extended for 12-16 months; it was an insane waste of money. The acting ER manager afraid of terminating contracts because the entire night shift nursing staff would quit enmasse if Gerald’s contract was not renewed. To top it off a very rare thing travelers who were charge nurses at a hospital they contracted at. Gerald knew he had a good thing going. Because of this atmosphere it routinely made for problems on other shifts and brought about streaks of laziness and contempt I was often left scratching my head over. Here is where my crusty veneer began to evolve. This is where such techs like ghost and shadow tech thrived and excitement tech came to my frame of reference as well.  But those are another story for another day, in fact this hospital in my career has so many nutty staff stories it will take many many entries to do them all justice, but I digress.

An actual REAL ER manager came on board eventually. She looked at the waste of money the travelers were especially on nights, heavens travelers are a stop gap not people who stay on for YEARS. The ER plainly was losing its ass in salary to traveling night nurses. I think during one meeting they told us that with what they were paying they could fully staff another two shifts for the entire ER and OR. I felt certain Gerald’s days were numbered and in a sense it was the beginning of the end for Gerald and his smoky reign.  Suburban ER manager was slick she showed up one night with food called all the night shift nurses together and told them that they would have jobs and sign on bonuses at the end of their contracts if they elected to stay on at suburban hospital. If they decided to leave then no hard feelings have a good career. It worked I think close to 100% of the night travelers stayed. Gerald was assured he could keep his charge position and he felt he was now cemented into his position in the ED.

Then a great thing happened. Around that time the hospital finally finished up their cardiac care center where they did stents and interventional cardiology. If you have ever read “The Rape of EmergencyMedicine” then you’ll very well understand what happens next. Suburban hospital cut their staffing costs and started to make REAL money with this cardiology center.  With this whiz bang state of the art cardiology suite and the crack practice of cardiology docs on call for our cardiac alerts things changed. With the threat of a MI rolling in at any moment it made Gerald stick closer to his charge station. This threat was ALWAYS there but now Gerald was on the clock FOR the hospital and ER manager who was not afraid of him was watching and grooming relief charge nurses. Gerald could not go out to smoke as often as he needed to off campus. This often made for a very grumpy Gerald and things got worse for a short time. It all came to a head one night when a cardiologist did not show up quick enough for Gerald’s liking. Remember dear reader Gerald could be a real cunt to people who fell into his disfavor.

When there was a STEMI alert of cardiac alert or whatever fucking code language is used to signal that the cardiologist is coming in and the cardiac cath lab is firing up then a clock starts. It’s contracted between the cardiology group and the hospital the times and the hospitals certifications rest on that. It’s money in the pocket to both the cardiology practice and the hospital, BIG MONEY.  So the Cardiology doc saunters in right on time according to protocol and is non-plussed by the 12 lead EKG. He says he’s going take the patient anyway but is not in too big of a hurry to get over to the cath lab, because it’s going to take time for staff to show up and for them to get set up for him. The cardiology doc decides he likes the big titted new nurse who has this patient and wants to explain the 12 lead to her in detail for just a minute more. She’s single, he’s “available” it’s a teaching moment let this man be, I’m not gonna fault him.  I package the patient and dash off to the cath lab with another nurse in tow and don’t think twice.

As this other nurse and I are walking back we both remark that it’s odd that the cards doc did not walk in right when we were leaving like they usually do. The cath team was kinda worried about that. In fact they were calling the ER and paging the doc when we left.  We walk into the ER and we hear a screaming match between Gerald and the Cardiology doc.  Gerald does not like that the cardiology doc is not taking this cardiac alert a seriously as he would like and feels like he is advocating for the patient. The cardiology doc is explaining that he has time as his team is setting up the patient and the patient has probs but it’s not that urgent after all he is the cardiologist and knows how to read a 12 lead FAR better than the rest of us. Besides this cardiologist is the guy behind the hospital getting this fancy new top of the line whiz bang highly publicized money making cardiology suite.  Besides that this very angry cards doc points out by Gerald making a spectacle of this case, Gerald is delaying patient care. The cardiology doc assures Gerald that he is not done with him yet and he better circle his proverbial wagons because he’s coming for him when he’s done with the patient. The cardiology doc gets everyone’s name that witnessed this and walks off to do his thing.

I leave between 0200-0500 that morning due to the smoker’s exodus and don’t think twice. Gerald getting into a slap fight with a doc during shift is nothing new. Nothing ever happens to the bastard anyways.  The next day we notice when night shift comes in that Gerald is not around and a relief charge nurse is doing the shift briefing. The entire night shift is staring at their shoes speechless. Gerald WAS on the schedule but has been scratched out for the next couple of shifts. We get the skinny via the omnipresent ER rumor mill and sure enough the cardiology doc was a man of his word. Once the cards doc finished up with his patient he personally called the hospital CEO at home at before dawn o’clock in the morning and told his tale of woe with Gerald. I do not know what was said but I can imagine this cardiologist reminded the hospital CEO that he and his practice was making the hospital a lot of money now and to remember who made more money for his hospital, the cardiologist and his cardiology suite or a charge nurse in an ER? 

The ER manager shows up before end of night shift that same night of the shouting match with her new ER assistant manager with her and a side order of HR execs.  Gerald is immediately and publicly stripped of being a charge nurse and told to come back in three days. Then in three days he can tenure his resignation or write a letter of apology to the cardiologist and apologize to the staff for his outburst. In the mean time the ER manager and her assistant ER manager gets statements from everyone the cardiologist got names from. Gerald I would have thought would have told then to kiss his ass and leave. But now Gerald has bought a house (this is during the housing bubble, uh oh Gerald over paid for a house) and is dating someone serious he’s put down roots in the community surrounding suburban hospital. Damnit Gerald even has a personal trainer now!  Gerald is in a tough spot, he says he’s sorry all the way around; it was a sight to see. He is unceremoniously booted off of night shifts and put on days and is watched VERY closely because the ER manager was thinking that he would never apologize but she still needs a reason to fire him or make him quit. Gerald we are told has no authority now and is on a sort of double secret probation. Gerald is now behind the 8 ball. 

All the ER docs he chided and brow beat tend to make things tougher on him at every turn. The day shift folks remember his snide comments and public early morning verbal floggings when people did not snap to quick enough. He is often found in the worst assignments with the worst patients with no back up. The midshifters remember the same thing as well and act accordingly. When he sits down at the nursing station to chart EVERYONE gets up and leaves even the ward clerks, the house keepers won’t even acknowledge him. Gerald becomes more humble in the day time hours. Gerald rolls away the stone some and is allowed to pick up extra shifts at night, his rotten attitude and behavior begin to return during that time but the face of nights has changed, the new night charge nurses don’t take his shit because they were midshifters and one of those charges was told “Suffer bitch, you aren’t on night shift.” She says the same thing to him when he asks for a smoke break one night.  He is marginalized and pushed off to the side. Which he tries to put a positive spin on it but we can all tell he hates not being in charge, the people he pissed off get their pound of proverbial flesh from him. Gerald quit before I left there. There was no great farewell party for him, he skulked away from not only his new house but his new relationship and hit the travel circuit again, and he left suburban hospital with nary a notice. I was told a couple of months ago that Gerald is now a flight nurse in oh let’s say the state of Montana.  But knowing Gerald he won’t keep that job long, he can’t keep his cunt mouth shut. 

So ends the story of the Fall of Gerald. But don’t worry Gerald and his cronies and other characters from that time and place will reappear here. Fear not you’ll hear more of the Reign of Gerald.

Number Two

Warning this is a LONG story.

One of the stories that sticks out most during my tenure of being the Crusty ER tech is the tale of crazy nurse number  15 aka CN15. She is special in so many different ways that as often can be seen with some people first impressions can be rather deceiving. I met CN15 shortly after I started my job at a big public hospital. This hospital and others of its ilk is known for trauma care and an always packed waiting room. I came on board there, I was new to that city and state and really just wanted to put my head down and work. CN15 seemed like a fairly cool person for my first few weeks there and we got along pretty well. CN 15 was a little bit older but still a fairly new nurse; I make it a point to try to help out new nurses when I can we had some things in common and talked some before and during shift. Then with no warning CN 15 threw me underneath the bus one night when the ER manager made a rare visit to night shift. The ER manager asked her in front of me how I was doing me being a new employee and all at this particular hospital.  It was and I saw it as the manager setting me up to feel good about the work I had done there so far. It was actually a rare pat on the head for the crusty one a third person validation from someone other than the manager herself. Such things are truly rare.

CN 15 decided that despite me helping her out with starting all her IVs and discharging a couple of her patients when she was asked about me she replied “I wouldn’t know I have not seen him all night.”At that point feeling the knife in my back and deciding to not stand for it I asked her about all the help I’d given her. To which she replied “Oh, that.” Turned on her heel and walked off. The ER manager looked at me and I looked at the ER manager. Both of us kind of stunned at this exchange. I face palmed to maintain my composure and the ER manager told me not to sweat this small hiccup that she had asked around and saw firsthand the good job I had done. Later I asked CN 15 why she did this and lied; she just smirked and walked off. After a few snide remarks CN15 made to me over the next few shifts I decided then to watch my ass around her.

Fast forward a few weeks later and its new years eve in this inner city hospital. I’m still new at this hospital but not new to the job. Those of you in the know realize that if you ever want to experience a certain minor circle of hell go to most any ER on NYE and watch the intoxicated human drama unfold.  Again CN 15 and I were working the same area. I was doing my best to steer clear of her because I knew for some reason I had done something to have her decide to set her sights on me.  Still to this day I have not the slightest clue what I could have done. So imagine my surprise when I saw the door to her at the moment empty assignment closed. Naturally I was concerned. This door was never closed; the ER is a dangerous place so I poked my head in to check to see if something bad was happening. 

I got a bit of a surprise when I walked in and saw CN 15 lying on the floor curled up in a fetal position next to the counter in the empty four bed curtained room.  She was crying non-stop and was what appeared to me having a breakdown of some sort.  Which believe me I totally understand but NYE around midnight in a busy inner city ER is NOT the place for it. Go to the bathroom or to the ambulance bay and have your moment and suck it up the shift is not even half over yet. I’m not unsympathetic, I’ve had my moments but truly there is a time and a place for such hysterics, we have to maintain a professional image, crying on the floor in a fetal position is not at all comforting to patients.  Swallow it go home and get out of your system somehow. We all have our own ways if you stay in the game long enough.

Knowing that she had it in for me I decided it was best not to try to console her. I closed the door, grabbed the charge nurse and told her what was going on with CN 15. The charge nurse rolled her eyes threw her hands up and said “Again?! Sheesh.” then walked off to talk to her. Apparently, CN 15 had a history of such behavior there. A history I had no clue about. My reasoning was simple not to get CN15 in trouble, honestly but to get her back in the game we were only going to get busier that night. We needed all hands on deck to share the load of sick and injured intoxicated rookie drinkers we were just starting to get crushed with. The rest of the night was notable not for the CN 15 drama which was just but a small part that made this an “epic” night in this particular ER which is saying alot. Some of which I may share later on down the line.

A few days later CN15 buttonholed me in a hall way outside the locker room and vowed vengeance on me. I was new there and despite my reservations I decided to lay back and not defend myself because I had a feeling  she had a total crazy streak in her and if I yelled back that I was going be set up. After that I started parking my car in a different spot and never parking in the same area twice.  I started switching assignments with other techs to stay away from her. I was getting a way creepy vibe from CN15. I did my best to avoid her but she did her best to get me in trouble with charge nurses and the ER manager. To the point of her faking an injury and claiming I threw a clip board at her head when I was not even working in the same area as she was. Naturally there were no witnesses.  It was a sight; she had an ice pack on her head and wrapped and ace bandage around her “wound” and told the charge nurse that despite her injury that she would work her assignment. I was wondering why she had the ice and ace on her head but figured it was none of my business that CN 15 was just doing more CN15 behavior. She was known to most everyone to be rather bi-polar and erratic in her behavior. There is a very fine line between patients and care givers in the ER sometimes. 

Imagine my surprise when I was asked about what happened between us during shift by the charge nurse and house supervisor. I had no clue what happened or that I was being set up. I just knew CN 15 was walking around with ace and ice on her head being all dramatic. When told that I had supposedly assaulted her with a clip board I laughed out loud, I could not believe it. I was asked if there was some sort of romantic entanglement gone wrong involved. I was again stunned; I then told the charge nurse and house supervisor some of the back story and NO such thing either with a clip board or romantic happened between she and I. CN15 filed an incident report with HR but when asked to produce a witness she claimed I was crafty enough to assault her when no one was around and she refused all treatment offered.  I started to request to work the front desk when we were on shift together. I had several nurses and techs come up and ask me what the hell was going on. I said honestly I had no clue and still don’t to this day. I had a former psych nurse that was working with us tell me that I should lay low around CN 15 because she had went off about me one night with the old psych nurse. I was informed that she REALLY had it out for me and to REALLY watch my ass.

Things finally came to a head when I had a note placed in my locked locker. I put my bag in my locker and locked it then went to use the bath room the note was there not 5 minutes later, placed while I was taking a leak. CN 15 had slipped it in the vents of my locker. The note had a picture of a horse’s ass on it and implored me to quit being an “ass” so that I could get along with my fellow employees. The note was unsigned of course but now enough was enough. I went to the ER manager that was still there at the beginning of night shift and told her that I had no way to prove it but I knew CN 15 did this. I asked for some consideration and that I did my best to avoid her. I had even gone through the trouble of switching assignments with other techs to stay away from her. This all was happening with in the first 6 months of me being at this particular hospital. 

The ER manager made it a point before shift to bring the entire crew together and point out that intimidation of fellow staff members was not going to be tolerated and should cease at once. Within a few days HR showed up along with an upper exec type before a shift at which CN 15 was present. She disappeared after that never to be seen again. I was told later that CN 15 landed in a hospital on the west coast this particular hospital she and I worked at was let’s say back east. There were other issues with CN 15 that I was unaware of at the time. I never found out what those issues were, she was in the center of a lot of drama in the ER not only with me but with patients as well which no matter where you work at is a sure way to get shit canned.

Needless to say Crazy Nurse 15 is an extreme case of what can happen to the tech in the ER via a vengeful nurse. Until management caught on to what was happening I was being talked to by a charge nurse at least once per week about what I had done to CN 15 even though I never spoke to her one on one and only spoke to her when another employee was standing there. I was fortunate enough to have the experience to deal with CN 15’s stream of very false accusations of any wrong doing. CN 15’s extreme behavior not only towards me but also towards others in the department and most importantly the patients was her undoing. CN 15 was and is her own worst enemy, given enough time those types ALWAYS self destruct. The key is to do your job and do it well and unless patient care is an issue let the petty drama drop the less trouble you stir up the better you look to management types.  CN 15 got the reputation of being a shit stirrer.  

This is a LONG story, it’s a bit outrageous and if it was told to me a few years ago I’d say the person was full of shit. That there was more to the story than what is being told, I assure there is not. I share this story because it shows what lengths some folks will go to get another in trouble. When I met CN 15 I was not new to the job I had been doing the job for several years and knew the game. But she showed me a whole other realm of ER politics I had no inkling of; just because someone is friendly when you first start at a new hospital does not mean that they are your friend. So ends the tale of CN 15.

Number One

This is blog is to simply VENT and maybe educate a few people out there about what exactly an ER tech does. This is what I see as a very experienced  and somewhat jaded, cynical I admit i.e. "Crusty" ER tech. An ER tech for those of you out there who do not know is an Emergency Room Technician. There are several other "official" names as well.  ED tech, PCT or just plain old Tech.

I make no bones about it ER techs are flunkies looked down upon by the nursing staff, doctors and admin types. ER techs are just one step above the housekeeping staff but not quite as special as they are. Honestly we are just glorified CNA's and I gotta tell ya that ain't saying much. Now I acknowledge there are many doctors and nurses and hospital staff out there who do not kick the poor old ER tech but ya gotta admit the bad memories and experiences out weigh the good ones.

Ok....ok I see you back there and you're all furiously waving your hand. You want to be an ER tech and stumbled across this here blog and wanna know how to break into this profession. Easy, go to EMT school and get your cert then apply to a hospital and eventually you get in. My route to this job (occasional minor circle of hell) was probably the most common one. I got my cert then worked the ambulance for a couple or few years. I liked the ambulance but I got to where I disliked the horrible shifts often terrible weather and being posted any where in the city I worked often cramped in an ambulance for hours at a time with a partner I barely knew. I got tired of the rain and snow blowing in my face during MVA calls plus I got to the point where I wanted to learn. I saw that often I was running the same call over and over again with very few of the "good" calls coming to my ambulance. I figured probably like every other ER tech the hospital was the place to be.

I was right the first year of being an ER tech was great I learned all sorts of cool shit. I got to work serious trauma and serious medical. I was even told by a supervisor in my first review that I should be a nurse. I got slaps on the backs from the docs accolades from fantastic veteran nurses, all was great in the world of the young crusty ER tech.

Then reality set in.

I have to admit I really never had a problem with patients. Yes, there are some real scum bags out there and I'll talk about them here. I learned to tolerate the behavior to a degree, our patients have problems they come to us to fix them, that's our job. We are seeing these patients and their families in the worst times of their lives. Sometimes with the drug seeker or chronic visiting patient there is much anger towards them by people in my field, to that I say it's part of the job. You get over it and learn to deal with it. Either that or you'll be out raged everyday you work and that takes away from the patients who do need our help. What I could not tolerate and still cannot to this day well over a decade later is how my present and past co-workers treat the lowly ER tech from day to day. ER techs are the people who do a majority of the dirty work in the ER. for example

-Need to have a dirty homeless urine soaked patient cleaned up even though you're surfing the internet, send in the ER tech. tell the tech you are "charting" and having a hard time with the system.

-Can't find shit in your assigned rooms because you were too busy gossiping at the beginning of shift to stock your area? Yell at and humiliate the tech at the nurses station on your way out to smoke. Because that tech was busy going into the bowels of the hospital to get O2 and you saw them in your room putting O2 on the beds in your rooms and since they're in there they SHOULD stock your rooms right?

-Missed something on an assessment on a patient and need someone to blame? Blame the tech they were the ones who checked on the patient 2 hours ago and told you something was wrong while you were cooing over wedding dresses in the break room.

-Need a room cleaned and the housekeeping staff is on break or got smart and quit on the spot after being screamed at, get the tech to do it because you cannot be bothered because it's some other nurses birthday and you want a piece of cake before it's gone.

-Have a violent patient and you need back up? Send the male tech in to "talk" with this violent patient first. But first forget to tell this tech that the patient is violent and tell the tech they just need to go into that room and put a gown on the patient and draw blood and get urine if they can because you are swamped with medicating another patient which is actually a lie, you actually get a lunch break and you're gonna eat in your car.

-Need an IV started and cannot be bothered because you are playing angry birds and just unlocked a new screen try to pull the tech out of the trauma they are working. They're only operating the level 1 infusor ANYONE can do that, and get them to start your IV.

-Need a foley put in? Tell the tech in resuscitation room while they are doing chest compressions on a "code blue" then get all hurt, grumpy and vow to write them up when they tell you that at the moment they're busy.

-Hungry and you're really into reading your magazine? Page the tech over head repeatedly and ask nicely for them to go to the convince store and buy you a bag of cheese puffs because they do not have your brand in the vending machine. Then get upset with them when they bring back to wrong brand because it was the only brand there and tell the ER manager you saw the tech leave hospital property on the clock.

I know some of you are saying I'm making this shit up or that I am blowing things out of proportion. To that I say it's all about perception. Perhaps you are reading this and fuming "The nerve...this is horse shit..ER techs are lazy especially the experienced ones." To that I admit guilt from time to time. See being the hard working tech gets you one thing. More and more work which gets you more and more abuse and more and more blame for the short comings of a few shit heel nurse types. After awhile you get tired of it and just want to make it through the shift with the least amount of drama. I'll happily take flak for being accused of being lazy if it saves me from being accused of something I had no hand in.

I don't hate nurses, I'm gonna be a nurse sometime in my future (edit...not so fast perhaps I'll learn a trade like being a machinist that way I'll never have to touch another persons shit). Nor am I am misogynist. Hospitals are mostly staffed and run by female nurses so it figures that most of the abuse would come from them. Nurses for the most part get most of the blame here but brother let me tell you docs and males share the blame as well. I'll even include in here all services of the hospital from know it all CAT scan techs to the scared and confused phlebotomist. Then there are the oh so observant knowledgeable ward clerks who have never done any patient care but know exactly how to do your job. The reluctant paramedic who is only a paramedic because his fire service REQUIRES that he be a paramedic to be a fireman. My own kind share the blame as well. I'll tell the stories of the shadow tech and the ghost tech. I'll regale you with tales of idiot tech, excitement tech, cutesy tech and how these personality types are in nearly every emergency room.

Simply this is to vent not only about the job and the often ignored lowly ED tech but to point the finger at somethings I see wrong with the healthcare system from the eyes of the cynical and crusty ER tech. I do reserve the right to censor and delete any comments I deem as hateful or skewed. I'll delete and ban I don't care. For the ER tech that stumbles across this this is OUR area if you got a story or wanna vent send it to me and if it's good enough I'll post it here. I just ask you leave OUT all pertinent patient info and leave OUT the location of the hospital you work in. As I have learned in my career, location of some of these wild stories does not matter cause this shit happens everywhere.

I do give credit to Crusty Ambulance Driver, if not for the insight of his now finished blog I would have never started this one. Although I do not share many of his views I do understand the frustration CAD felt in his day to day existence. Stay tuned and check back early and often.